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Welcome to Fivefold Network: Marriages That Work (Relationally Growing)
You made the decision, "I will love this person the rest of my life"; and then you commit to this relationship through the act of a wedding. This is an awesome decision; but sadly I see so many marriages falling apart and ending in divorce. This statement is not intended to hurt someone or done in judgment; but it is an honest evaluation of what I see far too often around me. Today we want to look at a several keys that will help us ensure our marriage goes the distance joyfully; and understand principles to "Marriages That Work".
The most important decision you will ever make in you life is whether you will Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength (become "Alive in Christ", John 3:3, John 3:16 and John 14:6 of the New Testament tells us how to do this). Once we are in right relationship with God and have peace inside of ourselves; the second greatest decision you will make is whether you choose to become married or stay single. Both are great choices, but today we are going to focus on "Marriages That Work".
Key # One: The decision of marriage is to be taken very seriously, because we are entering into a "Covenant" with the other person and with God. God has intended from the beginning that a man and women become one flesh (physically united and committed to that one person sexually for life). The covenant is far more than a physical union, it is a becoming one in spirit and purpose (this is a process over your lifetime together); yet we are uniquely gifted individually to complement each other. The success of a marriage is dependant on us understanding the depth of our commitment to our spouse and to God as the Father of our home.
Key # Two: Remember the reason why you decided to marry the other person in the first place; they were perfect, NO....you fell in love because you saw some very special characteristics in that person that drew you to them. Yes we are usually attracted by the other person looks, but deeper than that was their kindness, gentleness, compassion, strength, passion for life, their laugher, their dreams, their interests and that sense this is the one for me. Your life partner is a gift from God to you, and we need to constantly remember this and treat our princess or prince with honor, high value and unwavering love.
Key # Three: All marriages will face challenges and trials over the course of our lives. We live in a turbulent world where at times we are confronted with changes outside of our control (Hurricane Katrina & Rita are recent examples of how marriages (families) can face immediate change and extreme hardship) ** As a note please pray for these precious people in the Southern States and help financially to the best of your ability through a recognized relief agency ** Change is a fact of life, but it is how we handle these challenges that will strengthen our marriage or destroy it. There is a saying "Those who pray together, stay together". Whether change comes from outside forces or we make poor decisions that create our own dilemmas; God is never far away. Commit all your ways to God, actively seek His guidance as a couple and you will see His good hand bring direction and provision.
Key # Four: One of the most powerful principles of a strong marriage is: That you NEVER make any major decisions without being united and at peace before you move forward as a couple. Examples would be: having children, career decisions, purchasing major ticket items like houses, cars, a boat, vacation properties, starting a business, relocating to another city or moving, or finding a Church home, etc. This is critical and can prevent serious problems in a marriage; remember one of the foundational stones of a healthy covenant relationship is "ONENESS". Sometimes one partner will have a check inside, a feeling something is not right about this decision, heed this and do not make a commitment to move forward until you are both at peace. This can save you huge losses; and prevent a marriage crisis. This is often God's Spirit directing you as a couple.
Key # Five: Guess what we both have flaws, so don't make a big deal about it. Life is to short to nit-pick, and tear apart your spouse because they forgot to throw their dirty socks in the laundry hamper. For everything that bugs you about your spouse, you have an equal amount of deficiencies that can be rendered on your own record! (Chill-out perfectionists, this really doesn't happen until HEAVEN) Marriage is not about "being perfect", but two imperfect people choosing to love each other and daily extend grace to each others weakness'. Now this is not an excuse to be lazy or inconsiderate to your partner. Life is about growing and maturing for the benefit of others, so that we can be a blessing and a encourager.
Key # Six: Have fun together, dream together, and develop a life purpose together. When you first meet there were things you enjoyed doing together; walks, diners, sports, theater, whatever it is, keep doing them throughout your entire marriage. HAVE FUN TOGETHER. What do you want to accomplish together? What do you want to acquire together? Dream BIG, with God's blessing and direction all things are possible. We come into the world as individuals with gifts and talents that make us uniquely who we are; but now you are a TEAM and what are you going to DO together to make a difference in this world and leave a legacy?
Key # Seven: Marriages that work; work on their marriage to keep them growing, fun and loving.
Your life partner is a gift to YOU; so treat him or her as such and you will receive the rewards of a blessed and fulfilling relationship. When the time comes for us to stand before our Heavenly Father in eternity, we want to hear the words, "well done good and faithful servant" in regards to our marriage.
We have been blessed through the years by Gary Smalley's excellent teaching on marriage; we highly recommend his book:
Making Love Last Forever |
by Gary Smalley (Author)
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Purchase Gary's book at: http://www.amazon.ca/exec/obidos/ASIN/0849940869/fivefoldnetwo-20/702-7140656-7874403
Blessings,
Bill Westmacott, President & Founder
Fivefold Network: www.fivefold.net
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